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Tuesday, 6 September 2011

When Kolkata was Messi-merised.

"Veni, Vidi, Vici."

[Or "I came, I saw, I conquered.", for my friends who don't know their Latin. Or history.]

Thus said Caesar after the Battle of Zela.

Precisely what Messi could have said too, had he known Latin, after his short and sweet trip to Kolkata. And the city was in a frenzy. Prior to the big day, my college had guys in their Barca jerseys. Most bought for specially the occasion. And fake. :D

Facebook was brimming over with statuses related to the Argentina - Venezuela match. And people who managed a ticket or two couldn't control their ecstasy. Yes, highly doubtful how many of them can even name the Barca or Argentina lineup.

For the lesser fortunate people like me, who were on the wrong side of the Salt Lake Stadium boundary, it was more of a messy affair. Having turned down even a last-minute invitation to the match, to attend a tech fest at B.P. Poddar, and having to return home crossing the stadium during the match, while the traffic moved at a pace slower than a snail's, it was a small scale disaster. And just when you thought things can't get any worse, the frigging bus broke down. A three and a half hour journey from one part of the city to another is not that commonplace, or cool.

'Bodyguard' has apparently broken all kinda opening records. And look at the reviews. It might have broken all kinda poor review records too. [And no, Taran 'Dumbfuck' Adarsh's 4.5/5 review doesn't count.] And still it's this big. SRK once famously said, 'I can sell even dreams.' Dude, Salman can sell even nightmares. Period.

My robots are bringing me cash, bitches. B.P. Poddar first and SVIST next. Winning competitions, getting certificates and moolah, sweet Lord. Even my Puja shopping budget shot up, courtesy them. I love my little android babies. :)

Had a geeky, yet amazing, weekend at the aforementioned fests.

Early into the week, our plan to go to Harvey's for a buffet crashed and burnt. It was supposed to be a birthday treat from four guys in our circle. While the plan was due on Monday, this is what one of them said on days preceding the occasion, that led to the cancellation :

Wednesday : 2000, dude. I shall pay 2000. I am a rich bitch.

Thursday : 1500 will do equally fine, my mates.

Friday : 1000. Good enough.

Saturday : Oh man, I have a feeling I am gonna fall ill on Monday.

Sunday : Oh man, I have a stronger feeling now that I am gonna fall ill tomorrow.

Monday : See? Ill. Spot-on with my sixth sense. What a bummer.

On being asked whether he came it on Wednesday, which was Eid, he said :

Nope. Have an operation that day.

On being asked whether he he can make it to college on Thursday :

Yup, man. Will be fit as a fiddle by then.

Seriously, dude, what epic hospital would have let you out that quick after an operation? :|

Anyway, some of his closer friends were sympathetic of the situation. A bit too sympathetic to see the obvious lies and the plan was dropped.

Or was it not?

Time for a confession. The ones who saw through his lies (It wasn't Rocket Science, really.), we DID go out and had a gala time at Harvey's. Food, friends and frolic. Majestic masti. x)

So, my 'friend', if you come across this blog, *Up yours, buttface.*

Ah, it's so much fun to abuse people in a blog. I love you, bloggie. :D

Time to wave goodbye.

Song for the week?
Tonight by FM Static. :)

So long.

Tuesday, 30 August 2011


Steve Jobs, the man who almost single-handedly turned the word Apple form meaning The forbidden fruit to The biggest tech conglomerate, calls it a day. And we, the geeky section of the world, are heart-broken. After all, he's the man who brought ergonomics into technology and made gadgets what they are today. Yes we are making random jokes like :

'How bad is iPhone 5 that Jobs had to quit?'

'The man who gave us iPod, iPhone and iPad finally says iQuit.'

But that is just our sorrows making an expression through humor. :(

Steve Jobs. You will be missed. And we sincerely pray for your health.

And then there is Anna Hazare. Doesn't Anna mean Grain in Bengali? Quite ironic, given this man on an epic-scale hunger strike. Jokes apart, and even though I, personally, don't think this will solve any of India's problems in the long run, this is quite an amazing movement. Anna Hazare could be the only person I have read in an Environmental Education (Remember Ralegaon Siddhi?) who is actually having an influence on our day-to-day lives.

And my friend Rohit laments,

"I miss those simpler times when I could type Anna on Google and get to see steamy pictures of Kournikova."

I understand, buddy. We are on the same boat.

0-4. We got thrashed by England 0-4. I forgot the last time I was so ashamed while watching India play. Dravid was the only saving grace in the chainsaw massacre. Kudos to him. To the rest, I don't have expletives that can justify my feelings.

Personally, it has been a low humdrum week. College hours take out a lot of toll and I can't believe I have gone two weeks without watching a single movie now. Stupid college.

Though one day turned out real fun. With me and my college buddies bunking to go the Coffee House. And, as always, the ambience of the place, that feel of old Kolkata was magical. :)

Sharing one of our photos here.

Us miserly people. We even bickered with the waiter over the bill as an excuse to NOT pay any tip.

We are gearing up for a bigger and more lucrative food hunt next week. xD

Bye now. Will catch up next Sunday. :)
Leaving you with an oven fresh Bengali song that I have fallen in love with since I heard it for the first time.
Ekbar Bol from Baishey Srabon

Sunday, 21 August 2011

The Big Bongo Theory.

So we are no longer the people of West Bengal, but of Paschimbanga.
[Spell : Posh, as in 'Posha beral', or pet cat. Chim, as in Chimpanzee. Bongo, as in the Bongo drums.]

Shakespeare once famously wrote 'Much Ado About Nothing'. How apt is that title for the name-changing hiatus. After much ado, all we are left with is a name that is quite hard to pronounce for non-Bengalis and a million vehicles with WB on their license plates that now seem quite out of place.
But then again, Shakespeare also said, 'What's in a name?'. Tell that to the guys from Bihar here at my college, who are making a mess of the name.
And add to it the jokes doing the round. My favourite :

"What is this Poschim Bongo and where can I smoke it?"

Congo to the people of Bongo on our new name.

And the silver screen legend Shammi Kapoor passed away this week. What a man! And, as a tribute to the legend, one of my friends, down in sorrow, vowed to ditch Google and use Yahoo! for a week.

While one great actor passed, another pissed. That too on an aeroplane aisle. The man in question being Gerard Depardieu, the French auteur. He is one passenger (pissenger, rather) you wouldn't want on your plane.

On to my personal front.

My birthday turned out very fine. And without any fancy parties. :)
Over 300 wishes on Facebook and SMSes. And I thank you all. Even the weird ones who hadn't ever talked to before that day. :|

Met up with my school friends in the evening. Strolled on the College Street. Watched some stupid swimming contest at College Square. And relished at the Coffee House. Nostalgia was the mood. It felt nice appreciating those little moments that, at the end of the day, make an amazing birthday.

Nostalgia was also the order of the next day. Independence day, that is, for the ones who are weak with the calender. Back to school with some of my closest buddies, watching the prefect's march : something I used to be a part of and very proud of, meeting up with my teachers. Pure nostalgic fun.

And college lectures have hit an all-time low. It's an exercise in futility trying to keep my eyes open during the later stages of any double period. And the main problem, NO ONE WANNA BUNK. Suddenly everyone's so attentive and alert and responsive and regular, including the class clown Tirtho, that I feel so low having to spend the lectures texting/fighting my drooping eyelids.

Had I been able to fight my inexplicable urge to pun with Bongo, I would have called this blog 'Nostalgia' or something. Later into the week, a visit to Rupradha's house and meeting with my Holy Home friends further upped the nostalgia factor. There we were looking through old photographs and smiling at those great days gone by. :')

Ahh, what a week. :)

And yay, I finally got a camera. Its an Canon A3300 IS. Nothing exceptional, but at least we have a start. :)

Canon PowerShot A3300 IS Review Link

Time to leave you all with a song. Chose something that has suited my mood lately.
Us by Regina Spektor

Bye bye, my fellow Posh Bongs and the rest alike. ;)

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Happy Birthday to me.

So, I turn twenty today. Now I half seen one-fifth of a century. Whoa. Feels old and wise. Yesterday night was the last night I could be caught secretly wishing to be bitten by a supremely sexy vampire chick, so that I might stay nineteen forever. Stupid Twilight reference, I know. But to quote the tagline of one of my favourite vampire flicks, The Lost Boys, Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire.

No big party tonight. None, at least, that you need to know of. ;)
When I was a kid, which now seems ages ago, my birthday use to be a two-day annual extravagant affair. The 14th would have the big cake-cutting ceremony, followed by a series of games, that would include treasure hunts and quizzes (Yes, me and quizzes go a long way.), and a grand dinner. Blessed are the ways of the Lord, and our Constitution makers, and hence the celebrations would extend to the 15th, ending with a feast that shames Lupercal's. How I miss those simpler times. 

And I made a startlingly weird observation this Raksha Bandhan. Four people tie my a Rakhi. Two are my cousin sisters and two are friends. Now, two of them are called Sneha, and two are called Priyanka. Weird co-incidence (or not, conspiracy theorists). 

While the people of Kolkata are jumping at 50% sale at shops around the city, Londoners are having a gala time looting shops in theirs. When our respected Chief Minister said *Kolkata = London*, she definitely didn't think that through. Birmingham, or Burningham, as christened by The Telegraph, err, burns. Not only did the 140-year old House of Reeves burn, but also, Indian cricket team's one and a half year old No.1 rank. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

I did manage to catch a show of Iti Mrinalini. I had my expectations so high that I ended up disappointing myself. The ending was so preposterous that I almost ended up shouting 'You gotta be kidding me.' at the theater. I came across these  amazing lines by John Keats in the movie: 

How many loved your moments of glad grace, 

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

Apparently there's a tussle between Hollywood movie distributors and multiplex owners over revenue-sharing and that is a VERY bad omen for me. Having already missed Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and with some huge releases upcoming, I pray there's a quick settlement. I so wanted to watch Final Destination 5 in 3D, but that, I guess, will remain a dream. :( 

As the skies start darkening up, again, it's time to go. Will catch up later.
I leave you for the week with a song I am hooked to right now.

She's Got You High by Mumm-Ra :)

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Broke and Broken.

It is widely accepted that when you watch a good film you connect with the characters at a deep level and you look for similarities with them with people in your own life.

Well, I am plain flabbergasted how uncannily similar my life has been lately to the movie (500) Days of Summer. Fancy this bit of conversation between the leads in the film :

Tom: No, you know what? I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.

Summer: Nothing’s going on. We’re just..

Tom: We’re just what? Just.. what?

Summer: Friends.

Tom: No. Don’t pull that with me. Don’t even try. This is not how you treat your friend. Kissing in the copy room, holding hands in IKEA - come on, friends my balls.

Summer: I like you, Tom. I just don’t want a relationship.

Tom: Well, you’re  not the only one who gets a say in this! I do too! and I say we’re a couple, god damn it.

Now don't get into conspiracy theories about how similar Tom and Tamal, the names, sound. But that kinda sums up the last one month of my life.

Now, as I still look through her horoscope everyday hoping, someday, someway, it will read "Today you shall realize who your true love is.", here I am, doing what Henry Miller asked everyone to do. Getting over women by turning them into literature, err, blogs.

I can quote a gazillion people to express my feelings, but I choose just one. And that too is a weird choice.

"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."  - Galileo :)

Enough whining. On to other matters.

'Whining' reminds me of how people had been behaving early this week citing stupid power cuts. It was tiring replying "YES. We have electricity here." to every text, and then get flooded by curses for being so lucky. See, I am prepared with back-up electric power even for a zombie apocalypse. And you should probably be doing the same.

And there we unearthed a new hangout spot at college. The pool. Well, if you can call it so, given its water level is so low that even a hobbit won't get his balls wet. But its fun to be hanging around the place and watching the women scream their lungs out when you mock-push them.

Tirtho, 650ml of super strong beer down (625ml rather, the rest 25 was me), wrecked havoc at the first day of Phoenix'11 at FIEM. Hitting on every other chick, making obscene remarks and gestures, bursting out laughing at the mere sight of a Girls' toilet, lying flat on desks, demanding a place to puke, all the while grabbing his crotch : he stole the show. Cheers to him!

Two days down and today to go, the fest is turning out to be quite a mood-lifter. Having made it to the finals of the auto-bot event, courtesy Yousuf Baba, is the icing on the cake of fun. Praying for an epic end to the fest.

I explained the 'Broken' part of the blog's title at the start. And the 'Broke' part is self-explanatory. I am neck-deep in debt and I barely have enough to meet both ends. But hoping that will change once my birthday comes next Sunday. I don't expect two people : Sudip and Trisha, namely, to give me any gifts as, being penniless, I already owe them theirs. :D

Okay, I gotta go now, I have a fest to attend and an event to win.

Till next Sunday, this is me, Tamal, signing off and requesting everyone to wonder if the upcoming Bolly flick, Aarakshan, sounds less like Reservation and more like Erection. :)

Sunday, 31 July 2011

Problogue :D

So it took me :

  • One kiss.
  • One metaphorical boot in the face.
  • Two viewings of a certain Bollywood film .
  • Three hours of butt-kicking in Street Fighter IV.
to finally realize I should try blogging. Apparently, my emotions need an outlet too.

So I have a blogging profile, a blog, a fancy name for that blog, and some random ideas.
Let's put them to paper.

I will maintain this as a weekly blog, to be published every Sunday. One more reason everyone should be excited about Sundays from now on. I will say absolute random stuff, like I do so well. And no matter how my mood, the jokes will keep coming. No more ideas now, but hey, I am a writer, I shall improvise. :)

So keep watching this space. The fun starts next Sunday.

Till then, Hasta la vista, babies.

PS : This is gonna be Legen.. Wait for it..